“Everybody’s Regular Plan”

First of all, thank you so, so much for all of your kind words and well wishes on our recent engagement. The BF–I mean FI πŸ˜‰ — and I are so excited for the future and are ready to get down and dirty with some wedding planning. The special day isn’t until June 2014 but vendors, especially the good ones, are booked up crazy fast here in Charlottesville, which is an extremely popular place to get married what with the vineyards and beautiful venues. I’m sure I will be writing about wedding planning a bit on the ole’ blog but I won’t be doing it that often so I don’t bore you all!

Before I ever even get to any of that, I should probably start from the beginning. Β I don’t talk much about my relationship on the blog. Never have really now that I think about it. So here’s a post on how the FI and I met, some of the crazy things we’ve done together, and how we ended up engaged to be married!!! This will be a precursor to tomorrow’s post on the engagement πŸ™‚

The FI and I met in 2006 playing on the same co-ed soccer team in Boston and have been dating since the beginning of 2008 (yes we are coming up on 5 years people). We were very close, even from the beginning. We would hang out all over Boston, riding bikes, going to new restaurants and bars, and checking out the beaches and museums. We both lived close to downtown, me in Back Bay and him in Southie, and would trade off spending the night at each other’s apartment’s (although admittedly I would end up staying at his place more often because there was easier parking there). He even helped me train for my first marathon (Chicago 2008), running parts of my long runs with me…and eventually running the final 6 miles of the race with me. We were basically two peas in a pod from the beginning.

chicagomarathonΒ santaspeedoΒ beantown uglysweaterΒ halloween08 allstonΒ bdayparty dcΒ nyestpattys wv strawberryΒ strawberryrun wv biltΒ ftlauderdale race soccer sophie

lawn partyΒ faf coupesΒ halloween3virginianbaseballWe’ve been having so much fun in Boston, Charlottesville, and traveling all around. We left a good group of friends in the Bean only to make new ones here in Cville. We’ve never been that type of couple that, once together, stops going out or having fun with their friends…Come on, you know those types. You’ll have a friend that goes out and is fun and as soon as they have a boyfriend they disappear altogether. We’re best friends and I love him so much for that.

Throughout our late 20s, as many of our friends were getting engaged, married, and having kids, the FI and I were just having fun. Deep down I knew I wasn’t following the exact plan that I had originally had for my life. You know, we all have these “ideas” of how things will happen in our lives. For me it was: get engaged at 26, married at 28, and kids at 30. Well folks, I’m 30 and not married yet with no kids. I’m actually still in school finishing my PhD something I never ever thought I would accomplish. In short, my life didn’t follow the plan I had for it, or “everybody’s regular plan”. Insert trailer to “How Do You Know” with Reese Witherspoon and Paul Rudd here. It is just soooo perfect:

“Most girls’ plan is to meet a guy…love…have a baby. But I don’t know if I have what it takes for everybody’s regular plan”Β 

But the thing about life is that it doesn’t follow a plan. Sure, I have friends (mostly those from high school actually and most of them I don’t keep in touch with) who already have kids and live what I consider to be a much more “grown-up” lifestyle then me. But when I really think about it, that actually makes me depressed. I wouldn’t want that for my late 20’s or even right now! I think of all the things I’ve done and places I’ve traveled to that wouldn’t have happened had I had this singular goal of getting married and having kids. That’s just not for me.

life

Everyone follows their own path. Eventually you get there πŸ™‚

engagement

Do you ever find yourself comparing your life to what “everyone’s regular plan” is or people think it should be?Β 

Engaged? Married? Significant Other? Pet? Friend? How long have you known each other and what makes your relationship special?Β 

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23 Responses to “Everybody’s Regular Plan”

  1. I just couldn’t stop reading this or ooohhhing. You guys are adorable, I am so happy for you. gosh getting married in Cville will be beautiful in June. Holy moly.

  2. Carina says:

    Aw, belated congrats (or I guess technically, it’s best wishes to you, congrats to him)! I remember thinking something very similar when I turned 30 — I was dating my husband and thinking it wasn’t how I’d expected my life to be at 30, but it was so much better. I’d gotten to do and experience so much that I wouldn’t have done if I’d had kids in my 20s. I was 33 when we got married (and I’d realized by about 25 when many friends had kids that there was zero chance I wanted them myself), and it’s been even better since!

  3. Amanda says:

    Those pictures of you and FI are too adorable. I love hearing about wedding planning honestly (it’s the one girl thing I can do), so I can’t wait to hear about it!

    I definitely find myself comparing my life to my friends’. Some are engaged, married, living with their SO, even getting divorced (seriously). It’s really silly, now that I think about it. I do eventually want to get married and have kids, but I feel like that’s so far down the road for me. Even though I’m in a relationship, we’re both still trying to figure our careers out and have a ways to go before marriage or kids, if that’s even in the cards for us together. I still feel like we’re kids, you know? It’s too soon for those things!

  4. Jorie says:

    Congratulations, Claire! That last picture — omg. I cannot wait to hear the story! You two seem like a perfect fit πŸ™‚

  5. omg that last picture brought tears to my eyes… this is so sweet… you guys are adorable!

  6. pickyrunner says:

    You better be putting all of your wedding plans on the blog! I want to hear all about it! I totally wish you lived in beantown still so we could meet up when I’m home but I’m glad you’re happy with where you are in life right now. I think the plan is worth changing up, especially for a guy like you have. Those pictures of you two are adorable, you are gorgeous, and you both look so happy! Congratulations- this is so exciting!!!

  7. djfuzzy says:

    This is such a beautiful post. Thanks for sharing w us! I have always truly felt like everyone defines “success” differently. And that is more than OK… that is great!! Some women define success as getting married young and becoming a mother, for others it’s helping the oppressed with activism, and others, furthering their professional career and becoming a boss of a large corporation. Same here with a lot of my own friends that I grew up with- they’re having babies and getting married, and that is wonderful. I’m the free spirit and certainly don’t see myself having children or “settling-down” any time soon. Not at 22, and I don’t even think at 30! Who knows… I kinda LOVE not knowing πŸ™‚ I define success as living a life that I’m proud of, learning about everything & anything, and taking care of myself as much as possible. Life is good, isn’t it? Congrats again & thanks for showing pics. They’re lovely, you both are!

  8. djfuzzy says:

    BTW– “and live what I consider to be a much more β€œgrown-up” lifestyle then me” this concept is such a fallacy! I can relate, because I’m constantly judged for either A) not being in a serious relationship (seriously!? I’m 22), and B) not having children (I already know I don’t want them). I’ve observed the way some people look at me and perceive me, and they think I’m childish and insecure, or that I’m not even a real grown-up because I haven’t experienced these things yet. What fools! These are the same people I can’t reason with anyway, so I don’t try. But what I’m saying is that you’re not alone in that sentiment. Who is to say we are not grown-ups!?

  9. Congrats! Beautiful piece of jewelry! πŸ™‚
    I’m 33 and not married. No kids either (thank goodness). My bf and I love our life. We have a dog which gives us our share of responsibility. Almost all of my friends at this point are married with kids and I just don’t think they have it any better than I do.
    Life is definitely not one size fits all!

  10. Thanks for sharing this! You guys are really sweet together, you truly look happy. I am super excited to be on your wedding journey with you:) (Hopefully that doesn’t sound creepy??)

  11. Congratulations! With so many friends either engaged, married, or been there done that and having babies–it’s hard for me not to compare my life to everyone else’s plan. I’m totally a believer in what’s meant to be will happen all in good time, so I never get too down about it!

  12. You two are adorable – congratulations again!

    My boyfriend and I have been together about 2 1/2 years. Just like you and your FI, we were two peas in a pod from the beginning. We’ve been living together for about 6 months, and while we talk about the future, we’re in no rush to exchange rings anytime soon. I too had a plan – I wanted to be married by 26! I’m 25 now and that ‘ish isn’t happening! I think that life throws your curve balls, things change, and we have to roll with it. I couldn’t even imagine getting married at 26 – I still have so much more living to do with my man before we even think about the stress of a wedding. I’ve enjoyed the ride – we’re happy and in love and loving life – why rush it?

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